Well, see, the thing is, you're closer in age to me. He's older, but I think I like his hair a little better? I dunno, maybe not, your hair's pretty nice too. [Paaaause] You're cuter, for sure. He's-

Oh, you know what? That's the answer. He's way more muscled than you, but I hate too many muscles, so that, the age thing, and the fact that he's a dick. Although ultimately the answer's neither of you, but you're totally cuter. He is very objectively handsome, though, you've got to admit.