designedtoparty | 011 ∞ VIDEO

[Grubby and cobwebby, Nathan is slouched on his bed, smoking a joint. He's definitely not feeling his usual self, looking a bit more withdrawn than he would normally.]

So, I think I died last night. Either that, or someone slipped me some really bad acid. [He stops and groans there, squeezing his eyes shut and dragging a hand down his face.] I don't know. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details.

On the plus side, immortal. So, I don't have to worry about that zombie shit the rest of you lot have going. Down side... actually, I don't think there is a down side to dying, in this case. I mean, it's that or I got raped by some big, beefy bloke while having the worst trip of my life. [Pauses, looking mildly disgusted as he pictures that.] Yeah... let's not go there.

[He waves a dismissive hand at the camera.]

Anyway, I have this letter... bill... thing. Just so you know, I didn't buy anything, so you can forget about me paying it. Thanks.

[He takes one last, long drag off the joint, then pushes himself forward to stub the end out and turn off the camera.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

I remember coming back.

It's not like waking up from a nap, or anything.

{Now she's morbidly curious.]

How does it feel? Do you just wake up with a gasp like on TV?

It doesn't feel like I'm just waking up with a gasp. But, yes, probably.

[He pauses to think about it. It's not something he's really explained before.]

I think it's sort of like drowning backwards. You know... you come up. And there's air. And all of a sudden you're not being sucked under.

[Another pause.] Not that I've ever drowned before, but...

Neither have I, but I think I can figure out the feeling.

How many times have you died? In the general sense of the word.

Twice before now. This'd be the third.

What happened?

First time I fell off the roof of the community centre, got impaled by a fence. Then I got shoved onto a pipe someone conveniently left sticking out of the wall by a shape shifter.

Don't have clue what happened to me this time. Although I still don't think I'd recommend it.

Well, sure there are worse ways to go, but I wouldn't want to end things that way either.

So, how would you choose to end it?

Because, you know, I'm thinking I've got all the time in the world. There's an onslaught of ways I haven't died yet and I may as well put my power to good use.

I try not to think about that most of the time. But as far as I know, I'd like to go out with a bang in my sleep, after some fantastic sex, a great meal with great wine, after I've done everything I've possibly could have done. And I'll preferably be about 95.

Ohhhhhhhh. Jesus. No.

Don't have sex when you're 95. There's way too much wrong with that.

There's nothing wrong with it. I don't plan on giving sex up until I'm actually dead.

Then I hope you die a very early death!

No offence, but think of all the people you're traumatising doing that until you're 90!

You mean all the other 90 year old people? Right. I'm sure they'll be very upset they're doing the same thing as me.

Oh, yeah, 'cause you're really going to want to be going after all the other 90 year olds.

No. You're going to be going after young, innocent, easily impressionable men like myself. And then they'll have to carry that trauma for the rest of their lives.

Really? And here I thought you were already too young for me...

Oh, you say that now... but 40 years down the line you're going to be singing a different tune altogether.

You'll probably say I'm too old for you by then.

Trust me, I doubt that. I'm not looking to be a teacher.

Aw, come on! I'm 22. That's 6 years of legal practice, let alone what I got up to before all that. I think I have a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn't by now.

That's what they all say and the next thing you know, you're looking like a deer in headlights when somebody pulls out a new trick.

Hey, I know all the good tricks. I can even come up with a few of my own.

Right. I'll let you believe that, kid.

Well, okay...

Just don't come crying to me when you work out what you're missing.

Certainly not much.

Yeah. You keep believing that.

I think you've find that I'm not the one who's deluding themselves.

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