designedtoparty | 011 ∞ VIDEO

[Grubby and cobwebby, Nathan is slouched on his bed, smoking a joint. He's definitely not feeling his usual self, looking a bit more withdrawn than he would normally.]

So, I think I died last night. Either that, or someone slipped me some really bad acid. [He stops and groans there, squeezing his eyes shut and dragging a hand down his face.] I don't know. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details.

On the plus side, immortal. So, I don't have to worry about that zombie shit the rest of you lot have going. Down side... actually, I don't think there is a down side to dying, in this case. I mean, it's that or I got raped by some big, beefy bloke while having the worst trip of my life. [Pauses, looking mildly disgusted as he pictures that.] Yeah... let's not go there.

[He waves a dismissive hand at the camera.]

Anyway, I have this letter... bill... thing. Just so you know, I didn't buy anything, so you can forget about me paying it. Thanks.

[He takes one last, long drag off the joint, then pushes himself forward to stub the end out and turn off the camera.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

If yeh had them, yeh wouldn' have died, boyo.

Well, how long is this whole learning process going to take?

As long as it bloody takes.

What if I don't have as long as it takes? I could be killed again at any second!

Yeh're immortal so it's not really a big fuckin' deal, is it?

I think it's a big fucking deal. I think it's a huge fucking deal.

It's not like I'm getting myself killed for fun, or anything.

Okay, okay.

So, I get to have a gun?

Not until I think yeh're not goin' to shoot yehr own foot off.

[The truth is if he spent ten minutes poking around places, like the sofa, or even the bed he is laying on, he would find a gun]

Then I guess you'd better start teaching me quickly, before someone else tries to try their hand at offing me.

[The fact that he hasn't just goes to show how brilliant Nathan's powers of observation are.]

No one's going to do it right now.

Maybe not right now, but it's not like I'm planning on staying inside until whenever you deem me gunworthy.

Which I'll point out might be never.

You'll have to at some point. You can't promise me a gun, then say it might be never.

I didn' actually promise yeh shite.

You may as well have!

Don' be such a drama queen, Nathan.

I'm not! Considering this could be a life or death situation, I think I'm being rather well restrained.

'sides, first I got to get it through Frankie.

[This is a lie, she is now officially taking the piss]

What?! Frankie? It wouldn't just be easier to get it yourself?

[Which Nathan manages to miss completely.]

I mean he's gotta say okay.

He's not going to okay it. You couldn't just forget about what he thinks for once?

[She isn't laughing.

Barely]

Why do yeh think he won' okay it?

He just won't, okay?

Look, we all know you're the best judge around here. How about we go out, see how I handle it... then when you've made up your mind, we let him know then.

[This pause is pure torment]

All right, all right. I'll take yeh out tomorrow. If yeh shoot anythin' vital, I'll make yeh wish yeh weren' immortal.

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