013 ∞ AUDIO

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan is curled up in bed, so his voice is slightly muffled by his covers.]

Okay, so is anyone else getting any more of those pains that were going on before we managed to get rid of those harpies? Or am I the lucky winner here? [He says 'we'. In reality he didn't do anything to help.]

Fuck. I think this actually feels worse than getting impaled to begin with.

[A pause and some creaking as Nathan shifts on his mattress.]

I think there's still bird shit in my bed. Those bastards better not have given me bird flu, or something.

Comments

audio ][

[adamantined]

I'll credit you with something, but it's not going to be creativity. It would've taken you, like, two hours tops to wash your sheets. Now you're just going to forever be known as the boy who sleeps in poo.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

And you slam my creativity. That's not even technically accurate. At no point have I actually slept in poo.

audio ][

[adamantined]

Now you're just splitting hairs.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Hey, I'm just saying. It might be easier if you stuck with Nathan.

audio ][

[adamantined]

There's nothing suggesting the two can't be synonymous.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

I still think I prefer Nathan.

audio ][

[adamantined]

It's not a bad name.

You still sleep in poop, though.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Slept. Past tense. I already told you someone promised to clean it for me.

audio ][

[adamantined]

Who'd you bribe or blackmail into that task?

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

This girl. She gave me chocolate one time. Dawn, or something.

Anyway, I didn't have to bribe. Or blackmail. She offered.

audio ][

[adamantined]

Oh. [Her acknowledgment of this is bright, the equivalent of a light bulb blinking on.] Well you better pay her or give her a cookie or something.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Why?

audio ][

[adamantined]

I -

[Can't even believe I'm being asked this question.]

Karma. Think of your karma.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Look, she offered.

Volunteers don't expect anything.

audio ][

[adamantined]

There's a difference between volunteering at a soup kitchen and cleaning up someone's dirty sheets. It's not like you're in the hospital where that kind of thing is acceptable.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Wait, bird shit in hospitals is acceptable now? Standards really are slipping.

audio ][

[adamantined]

I meant shit in general.

[SIGH.]

Speaking of hospitals, why haven't you done anything about your pain problem?

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

I have! Campbell's going for me.

audio ][

[adamantined]

Good. Getting impaled sucks.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

Have you ever been impaled?

audio ][

[adamantined]

A couple of times. Steel rod through my neck, stuff like that.

audio ][ Flip, sorry! I managed not to notice I hadn't replied to this. >.>

[designedtoparty]

[He hisses between his teeth.] Sounds painful. Almost makes me glad I've only had it through the chest.