designedtoparty | 020 ∞ VIDEO

[He's going to ignore that. If only because he has no idea what Nathan's talking about.]

Lemme put it to ya' this way: you were talkin' to my avatar the whole date.

[He's found that people recognize the word "avatar" more than "holoform".]

One of those blue things?

[Sadly, out of every main character in his canon, only one of them would probably recognise avatar. Nathan is not that guy.]

...No. You saw it, not a hint of blue on it.

You want me to be blunt, meatbag? I'll be blunt. I'm a robot. And an alien.

Okay, yeah. This isn't sounding any less creepy.

Who says I'm trying to creep you out less? Still true though. My real body just stayed in the parking lot during the date.

What, you kept it in the boot?

No. My real body is the car. Gotta say, your pants felt kinda good against my leather seats.

That's creepy. That's really, really creepy.

And that's news how?

Well, it's more creepy. I'm the one who's meant to be pulling weird shit like that around here!

Whatever you say, meatbag.

I'm not a meatbag. Stop calling me that.

So touchy.

Y' cannae just go about tricking humans int'....fellatin' your seats wi'out tellin' them what they're getting into! That isnae right!

Don't get your guts in a knot, I just figured he'd be a little more... receptive if I used the holoform. It's not the craziest thing I've done in the name of getting 'faced.

It's no about the holoform! It's about gettin' him INSIDE you wi'out asking! ...what d'you mean "faced"?

I'm a car, driving to the bar was faster than walking. [Not to mention the holoform can only go so far from his body.]

Well, y'see, when two Cybertronians love each other, or are just really, really lonely, they decide to crawl into a berth together, and well... [Chuckles]

....I don't think humans can face. Shagging, aye, but we havenae got the same bits as cars. Or robots. Or robot cars.

Right! No! If y' found Nathan sittin' in you sexy, that's invading his space or somethin'! I'm trying t' do an analogy but I've no idea how you lot work. I dunno, like if y' put your hands all over the rear bumper of a lady Cybertron and she didnae want you to.

I know, I watched a few vids. What you guys do is weird and kinda gross, but I was willing to give it a shot.

All I said was that his pants felt nice, I can't help it if leather happens to be sensitive.

[voice]

loonyandproud.livejournal.com - 2011-06-26 19:36 (UTC) - Expand

NATHAN? Y' got raped by a TRANSFORMER?!

The worst part is I probably could have avoided this if I'd just watched more TV.

Auuh, you were inside it and EVERYTHING! I cannae believe only watching TV for 4 years woulda actually come in handy for once! Christ! He's still comin' after you?

Yes! What do I do?!

I dunno, he's a massive car robot!!! Y' need the good guys, but I don't think they're in the City!

Shit!