026 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[One of Bro's yellow smuppets fills the screen. The rear end, if you want to get specific. When the smuppet's pulled back, the screen's back to monochrome, Nathan looking more than a little traumatised.]

What the fuck is this? It's horrifying. I mean, who wants to go for their morning piss to find this staring at them from behind the loo?

Is it some kind of puppet sex toy, or what? Its nose looks like a bloody dildo. Is that a nose? [Nathan pauses to poke at it suspiciously.] I bet there's anus sewn into its ass somewhere. Not that I'm planning on actually checking that. Fuck knows what some pervert's been doing with this thing. I bet there's months old spunk still up there.

[Rant apparently over, Nathan drops his arm so he's not waving the smuppet at the screen, scratching his cheek almost thoughtfully.]

I'll tell you what, though. I'm pissing yellow again. So, I guess something came out of this. You know, besides scarring me for the rest of my life.

Comments

[designedtoparty]

Man, what is it with this guy and bathrooms?

[charring]

No clue. I'll be checking all corners of mine from now on before I do anything.

[designedtoparty]

You probably want to keep an eye out for cameras, too. I bet he gets off on watching girls taking a shit.

[charring]

Cameras, huh? I'll keep my eyes peeled. Thank you ever so much for the advice.

[At this point, she holds up the blue-and-slightly-singed smuppet, looking a bit sheepish.] At least the blues in my room have come back. And my eyes. That's nice.

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan's jaw drops at the sight of the smuppet, clearly perplexed.]

What, did you decide to run and shove it in the oven? I thought you said you were in the bathroom.

[charring]

Uh...[Suddenly, this is awkward.] Actually? I'm a pyrokinetic. It startled me enough to cause a defense reaction until I realized it was just a stupid . . . whatever the fuck it is.

[designedtoparty]

Oh.

You seem a lot less crazy than most pyromaniacs. [Read: Johnny.]

[charring]

[Not entirely sure what to make of that.]

Thanks?

[designedtoparty]

Just so we're clear. You have no intention of killing me, right?

[charring]

I have no intention of killing you.

[designedtoparty]

Thank you. That's good to know.

[charring]

You're welcome.