011 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Grubby and cobwebby, Nathan is slouched on his bed, smoking a joint. He's definitely not feeling his usual self, looking a bit more withdrawn than he would normally.]

So, I think I died last night. Either that, or someone slipped me some really bad acid. [He stops and groans there, squeezing his eyes shut and dragging a hand down his face.] I don't know. I'm kind of fuzzy on the details.

On the plus side, immortal. So, I don't have to worry about that zombie shit the rest of you lot have going. Down side... actually, I don't think there is a down side to dying, in this case. I mean, it's that or I got raped by some big, beefy bloke while having the worst trip of my life. [Pauses, looking mildly disgusted as he pictures that.] Yeah... let's not go there.

[He waves a dismissive hand at the camera.]

Anyway, I have this letter... bill... thing. Just so you know, I didn't buy anything, so you can forget about me paying it. Thanks.

[He takes one last, long drag off the joint, then pushes himself forward to stub the end out and turn off the camera.]

Comments

[designedtoparty]

All right, all right... so, I ate some pick'n'mix. Doesn't mean I don't know how to handle a gun.

[eiremagic]

....yeah, yeah.

I'll take yeh shootin'.

[designedtoparty]

Really?

Hey, do I get rifle? [Oh. Wait. Better idea.] Or a bazooka! No one'd mess with me if I was packing one of those.

[eiremagic]

Let's start with somethin' that won' send yeh flyin'.

[designedtoparty]

Oh, come on. You can't start me out with a shit gun. I want something proper.

[eiremagic]

I don' own shite guns.

[designedtoparty]

Okay. What gun were you planning on, then?

[eiremagic]

Maybe a Browning.

[designedtoparty]

A Browning. Right. Okay.

[Trying to sound like he has something more than very basic gun knowledge.]

[eiremagic]

Yeh've no idea what that means.

[designedtoparty]

I know it's a gun.

[eiremagic]

Well, we'll work on that for bit. And until yeh learn to use it I'm not actually lettin' yeh have it.

[designedtoparty]

Aw, come on! What if someone tries to kill me again? I might need it.

[eiremagic]

If yeh don' know how to use it how do yeh plan on doin' anythin' but gettin' killed, Nathan?

[designedtoparty]

Well, I'll stand a better chance than if I don't have one. Maybe my survival instincts will kick in, or something.

[eiremagic]

If yeh had them, yeh wouldn' have died, boyo.

[designedtoparty]

Well, how long is this whole learning process going to take?

[eiremagic]

As long as it bloody takes.

[designedtoparty]

What if I don't have as long as it takes? I could be killed again at any second!

[eiremagic]

Yeh're immortal so it's not really a big fuckin' deal, is it?

[designedtoparty]

I think it's a big fucking deal. I think it's a huge fucking deal.

It's not like I'm getting myself killed for fun, or anything.

[eiremagic]

Okay, okay.

[designedtoparty]

So, I get to have a gun?

[eiremagic]

Not until I think yeh're not goin' to shoot yehr own foot off.


[The truth is if he spent ten minutes poking around places, like the sofa, or even the bed he is laying on, he would find a gun]

[designedtoparty]

Then I guess you'd better start teaching me quickly, before someone else tries to try their hand at offing me.

[The fact that he hasn't just goes to show how brilliant Nathan's powers of observation are.]