013 ∞ AUDIO

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan is curled up in bed, so his voice is slightly muffled by his covers.]

Okay, so is anyone else getting any more of those pains that were going on before we managed to get rid of those harpies? Or am I the lucky winner here? [He says 'we'. In reality he didn't do anything to help.]

Fuck. I think this actually feels worse than getting impaled to begin with.

[A pause and some creaking as Nathan shifts on his mattress.]

I think there's still bird shit in my bed. Those bastards better not have given me bird flu, or something.

Comments

Oh, hey! Online at the same time. Feels like a miracle.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, well. One of the perks of immortality.

Self-medicating isn't doing much for me right now. I've got a friend trying the hospital for me, so I guess we'll see how that goes.

XD Must be!

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

One of the few.

All right. I happen to have an entire medical lab under my house, so, let me know if that falls through; I'm sure we've got stuff here that could knock out a dinosaur.

[designedtoparty]

How would you know? Don't let the whiners fool you. Immortality has way more pros than cons.

Oh. Well, that sounds... incredibly creepy, actually. But if he ends up trying to dose me on psycho pills or something, I'll check it out.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

I have experience, and, at least for me, It's not all been sunshine and roses.

[designedtoparty]

[Unimpressed snort.] Seriously, am I the only immortal ever not to put a negative spin on this thing?

I get out of this place, I'm going to be stuck finishing my Community Service. But... two weeks after that? I am out of there. I'm joining the circus and I'm going to become a rich, rich man.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

As what? 'The Man who never dies' been there, and done that. It gets old fast.

Whatever you want to do with your life, go for it, try everything.

[designedtoparty]

Are you kidding me? I come up with that, then someone's already gone and done it?

How do you even get sick of that? Have you seen how much pussy rich guys get? They're practically drowning.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Sorry, had to go undercover for a bit.

I didn't exactly like the feeling of putting a bullet in my brain every night. Besides, I don't need to kill myself to get a date.

[designedtoparty]

I don't need to kill myself. It just seems like an easy way to get multiples. And skip past the date part.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Hey, who am I to snuff someone's dreams? Go for it if it's what you want to do; maybe you'll have more fun then I did.

[designedtoparty]

Thank you.

Although, hey. If you do want to make yourself useful, you could clue me in on some of the less painful ways of dying. I'm still kind of new to this immortality gig and so far I can't say I've found anything that works for me.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...less painful ways...
Well, avoid javalins and broken bottles, those are probably the worst.
Gunshots only sting at first, it's when you wake up that they hurt like a bitch.

For least painful, I'd have to say overdosing. It's not dramatic or interesting really, but it's a lot like falling asleep. For that matter, so is drowning and freezing to death.

[designedtoparty]

Well, since there's at least one drug that can kill me, let's stay away from the whole overdose thing.

Drowning, though... that could be an interesting act.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

It's more painful than freezing or overdosing, but it's less painful than fire, so, your choice.

Of course, there are some poisons that kill you instantly, but they're harder to get a hold of.

_{[He probably shouldn't be telling the kid all of this.]}

[designedtoparty]

Those'd look boring, though. I'm not going to kill myself if half the audience is going to be asleep through it.

Which ones? I'm sure a circus'd be able to get hold of them if I asked.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Sodium pentathol and Cyanide are your best bets, but if the doses aren't right you'll just feel like shit.

For the record, I don't support you trying any of these.

[designedtoparty]

So why're you telling me?

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Because you asked and I'm trying to distract you. I've got nothing against information, always been one for the whole 'knowledge is strength' thing, I just don't support committing suicide for other people's entertainment.

[designedtoparty]

I'm not planning on doing it for other people's entertainment. I'm doing it for sex and money.

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Suicide for sex? Yeah, death definitely turns ladies on. Let me know how that one works for you.

[designedtoparty]

Oh, come on. You're telling me you've had all these deaths and you've never tried it?

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

I find that killing yourself usually turns the other person off instead.

[designedtoparty]

Then how do you explain the black market demand for snuff?

[sometimes-boe.livejournal.com]

Snuff's a little different than shooting yourself in the head or drowning.

[designedtoparty]

It's kind of the same. I mean, I end up dead in both scenarios.