designedtoparty | 001 ∞ VIDEO

[The video opens with a bewildered looking youth in a grubby, orange jumpsuit holding the camera at arms length. When he speaks, the Irish accent quickly becomes apparent.]

Okay, first off I'd like to thank whoever conveniently decided to leave me with some form of communication, even if it is utterly useless for getting in touch with people I actually care about.

Second? A big fuck you to whoever's fault it is that I appear to be stuck here. I mean, come on! What the fuck!? Clearly I'm not dead, because hello? Immortal. So, what could possibly be going on here?

[At that he drops the confused look, rolling his eyes and looking annoyed instead.]

Oh, wait. Of course! It's something to do with the storm. Which is just a shocker, I know. It's not like that happens every week, or anything.

[A beat. Just waiting for that sarcasm to sink in, then...]

Ohhhhhh, no, sorry. It does. So, I know exactly what's going on here. It's someone's fucked up idea of a super power. Which means you're either a beautiful, barely legal girl, planning on doing something horrible to me, or...

[Nathan gasps, eyes widening with 'realisation'.]

You!

You're the probation worker. You sick bastard! I thought I could trust you. For once, I thought we had a probation worker we could trust. To guide us, to reform us, to refrain from trying to brutally murder us...

Instead you're pulling me into your sick, perverted fantasies, so you can have your filthy way with me.

[Throwing a dramatic arm over his face, Nathan lets out a loud, false sob.]

Be gentle with me. No one's ever taken me that way before.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Get too in the way and she'll swat you with her spatula - and not nicely]

I'm sure the world would manage.

[Owwwwww, fine. He'll hang back. :(]

Perhaps. But it would be a crying shame, don't you think?

Dunno yeh well enough.

[She plates up for him and passes it over with a fork.]

[The food distracts him enough that he doesn't come back with an answer for that. Just the smell of food has reminded him how hungry he's been lately and by now he's feeling famished. After shovelling down a few forkfuls, Nathan looks back over at her.]

You are wonderful. I can only hope that everything you cook is up to this sort of standard.

[She turns a bright red, which is ridiculously obvious]

Well, I mean.

Eat yehr black puddin'.

[And she shakes her head as if that can make her blush go away]

[Nathan's very pleased to note that blush. Oh, yes. He's definitely got it.]

You have no idea how much I wish I was black right now, just so's I could make some sort of joke about that.

[He does do as he's told, though.]

[Nathan, if only you knew how easy it is to make her blush]

How does that even....

[Pause, nevermind.]

[Hopefully he won't work it out any time soon soon. It would have a devastating impact on his ego.

It's probably a good call not to finish that question. Nathan continues to eat obliviously, polishing off his plate in record time. He then dumps it in the sink, rubbing his belly.]

You know, I don't think I can even remember the last time I was this full.

It's all that livin' on snack food.

But I'm not doin' yehr dishes, boyo. Not yehr mum.

[Despite her having made him a nice meal, Nathan still manages to look put out.]

I know you're not. But I thought you were going to feed me. And take care of me. And wash my dishes for me.

[She gives him a Look]

If yeh don' wash yehr own dishes, I'm not makin' yeh dinner.

[Oh, Eden. You may actually be a good influence on him. He might be ungraceful about it, but he does turn back to the sink and start running the water. He doesn't want to cook his own food.]

All right, fine. Jesus.

[There we go.]

All right, then.

[Okay, so maybe it's not so bad once he gets into it. He even moves on to the pans and stuff once he's washed his plate without so much as being asked. That's bound to earn him bonus points, right?]

[After he's done she nods him into the spare room]

I know it's all blocked off but Jessica can' deal with sunlight.

Edited 2011-02-01 01:05 (UTC)

[Nathan's definitely taken aback by the room.]

Well, would you mind if I unblocked it, at all? I mean, I can get that she's not, but personally I'm quite big on the whole sunlight thing.

[She thinks about it for a minute]

Yeah just don' fuck it up.

[Nathan grins triumphantly, throwing a friendly arm around her shoulder.]

Nice. Cheers, man.

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