001 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[The video opens with a bewildered looking youth in a grubby, orange jumpsuit holding the camera at arms length. When he speaks, the Irish accent quickly becomes apparent.]

Okay, first off I'd like to thank whoever conveniently decided to leave me with some form of communication, even if it is utterly useless for getting in touch with people I actually care about.

Second? A big fuck you to whoever's fault it is that I appear to be stuck here. I mean, come on! What the fuck!? Clearly I'm not dead, because hello? Immortal. So, what could possibly be going on here?

[At that he drops the confused look, rolling his eyes and looking annoyed instead.]

Oh, wait. Of course! It's something to do with the storm. Which is just a shocker, I know. It's not like that happens every week, or anything.

[A beat. Just waiting for that sarcasm to sink in, then...]

Ohhhhhh, no, sorry. It does. So, I know exactly what's going on here. It's someone's fucked up idea of a super power. Which means you're either a beautiful, barely legal girl, planning on doing something horrible to me, or...

[Nathan gasps, eyes widening with 'realisation'.]

You!

You're the probation worker. You sick bastard! I thought I could trust you. For once, I thought we had a probation worker we could trust. To guide us, to reform us, to refrain from trying to brutally murder us...

Instead you're pulling me into your sick, perverted fantasies, so you can have your filthy way with me.

[Throwing a dramatic arm over his face, Nathan lets out a loud, false sob.]

Be gentle with me. No one's ever taken me that way before.

Comments

voice;

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

[... long pause. Where do you even begin.]

You're a very dramatic sort, aren't you. First time I've ever heard someone call the deities beautiful, barely legal girls.

voice;

[designedtoparty]

I've never met them. I don't know. [His voice drops, taking on a more interested tone.] So, these deities...

Do any of them happen to meet two out of three of the requirements?

voice;

[7thborn.livejournal.com]

And those requirements would be what, exactly? In case you haven't noticed, you went on a bit of a rant, there.

[eiremagic]

No one wants to have their filthy way with yeh, boyo.

[designedtoparty]

Of course they do. Look at me.

Why wouldn't you want to have your filthy way with this?

[He makes a seductive face, motioning a hand down his body.]

[eiremagic]

[There is a pause here. A very long pause]

Are yeh really immortal or are yeh takin' the piss?

1/3

[heelsandlaw.livejournal.com]

Immortal?

2/3

[heelsandlaw.livejournal.com]

Are you on-- drugs or something?

3/3

[heelsandlaw.livejournal.com]

Whoever your probation worker is, I doubt they had something to do with your arrival here.

[designedtoparty]

What? No! I'm not on drugs. What would make you think that?! [Such accusations! He's wounded. Really.]

No, no, of course he didn't. Like he'd have super powers.

voice

[doctor-tangent.livejournal.com]

Don't worry. Not a place where you're going to be prostituted out by your fellow probation workers. Unless it's a curse day.

voice

[designedtoparty]

Fellow probation workers?

Ohhhh, no. I'm not a probation worker. I'm an offender. Sorry, man. Didn't mean to mislead you.

Curse day?

voice

[doctor-tangent.livejournal.com]

If an offender, assuming that you're working off said offense via probation, correct? Thinking of the phrase in a different way.

When the City starts to act up. Strange things happen. People suddenly change genders. Other things. Unpredictable. Many things can happen. Not only what I've described.

audio;

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

[Everything that Campbell doesn't immediately understand gets tossed to the side, along with everything he sees as something unimportant, and he makes his own conclusions, leading to:]

Are you a superhero!?!?

audio;

[designedtoparty]

[Pretty much the only one of his ASBO gang who actually wants to be a hero is Barry. But Nathan waits before quashing that theory right off the bat. He doesn't miss the enthusiasm in his tone. There may even be some admiration in there somewhere...

So, as if it's obvious:]

Of course I'm a superhero. They don't hand out powers to just anyone.

audio;

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

That's brilliant! Who's "they"? And is it just immortality or are there other things?

audio ][

[adamantined]

Barely legal girls and probation workers ready to have their way with me are exactly the conclusions I jump to every time I wind up somewhere I'm not supposed to be. It makes sense you'd go with those to start with.

audio ][

[designedtoparty]

I know! It's always barely legal girls or probation workers. Or old women. Or psychopathic serial killers. You'd have thought people would stop being so predictable after a while.

audio ][

[adamantined]

I hate to break it to you, but old women and psychopathic serial killers are about as predictable as it gets. Also... what?

audio

[taravata.livejournal.com]

You okay? Yer hollerin' to the entire network.

audio

[designedtoparty]

Apart from finding myself in a city that apparently has no proper name or way home, you mean?

Yeah, I'm fine.

audio

[taravata.livejournal.com]

Can't say you'll get used to it.

[jesusing-clown.livejournal.com]

[...What the hell did I just watch]

That's. That's not what's happening at all. Nobody is going to have their way with you.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, you don't know that! Maybe I'll let someone have their way with me.

[jesusing-clown.livejournal.com]

I guess. You can if you want? But that's not why you're here. It's called the City, the Deities kidnap people from different worlds.