002 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Hello, City. Today you are being treated to a lovely view of a scrawny, still kind of malnourished Nathan in nothing but his briefs. Should you be pleased? Well, he certainly seems to think so.]

Deities! Or anyone else who knows their way around a washing machine. I have an irresistible offer for you to take me up on.

Since my flatmate refuses to do my laundry for me, I've been left with no choice but to resort to other means.

What are these other means, you might ask. To which I respond, this. [Nathan trails his hands sloooowwwwwwwly down his torso, hands coming to a rest just above his crotch.]

That's right. In exchange for washing my clothes, I offer you my body, to do with as you wish. This will be an ongoing agreement, naturally. Unless your services aren't up to my standards, in which case I reserve the right to put a stop to any agreement we might have.

Comments

[innocentxcharm.livejournal.com]

I never heard of unspeakable acts before. Is that somethin' bad? Are you really cold standin' like that?

[designedtoparty]

[And from there he's onto chest rubbing. There's some hip thrusting thrown in there for good measure, too. He's obviously having way too much fun with this.

On the plus side, he'll probably get bored pretty soon.]

video;

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Yeah, alright, fair enough. Might only work wi' you, actually, cos this seems like the sort of thing you'd end up with a serial killer by mistake. And I no can come back from that. Well, I will come back but I willnae be able t' go home after. I amnae immortal.

[designedtoparty]

Are you serious? Why would I go to a cleaners when I can just get someone else to do it for me?

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

[eagleofautozam.livejournal.com]

I really don’t think that is going to work out for you…

[designedtoparty]

Nooooo. It's something good. Very good. Believe me, it's worth standing around being cold for a couple of hours to get a lady to come on over and warm you up.

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[designedtoparty]

Ohhhhhhh. Serial killers. I hadn't thought of that.

[knifecushion.livejournal.com]

[........too much information!!!!]

You know, if these deities really are deities, they could do whatever they want to you regardless.

[innocentxcharm.livejournal.com]

Really?....I think it'd be easier t'find a blanket though.

video;

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Well, you are offerin' your body on the Network. That can be interpreted more ways than one y' know. Or maybe cannibals. Or vampires; those exist here, apparently.

[designedtoparty]

[Inevitably, Nathan does get bored of humping the air. It takes a couple of minutes, but it happens all the same. And, hey! It's that guy! ]

OC: No. That's exactly right. It's a human courting ritual, captured on film for the first time ever.
OC: I'm showing my sexual prowess to any potential mates.
OC: It's very popular with the females of our species.
OC:I'm expecting to mate with at least eight women tonight alone.

[designedtoparty]

Oh, yeah? Just because it wouldn't work out for you, that doesn't mean it won't for me.

[trollsbackwards.livejournal.com]

[designedtoparty]

Easier, maybe. But a blanket really isn't that satisfying. They get all sticky, then they don't even want to snuggle when you're done.

[designedtoparty]

Except they aren't. Clearly. Or else they would be doing whatever they wanted to me regardless.

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[designedtoparty]

I don't know... Maybe a vampire wouldn't be so bad. So long as she was one of those sexy vampires, with lots of leather and massive tits.

[innocentxcharm.livejournal.com]

Why would the blanket get sticky? Are you sticky?

[eagleofautozam.livejournal.com]

[What is that? A smirk? ]


You should keep your mind open to other options. Just in case this tactic fails.

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[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Aye, but the other stuff'd be pretty bad.

[knifecushion.livejournal.com]

What if what they want to do is ignore you forever and ever.

Or make it so all of your laundry smells funny no matter what.

[designedtoparty]

OC: I was being informative! And helpful.
OC: No need to get angry about it.
OC: Jesus.
OC: Why do you think I need a pail for mating?
OC: It's not like I was planning milking them.

[designedtoparty]

I'll have you know I already have backup plans. But this plan won't fail. So I don't need them.

[designedtoparty]

Only when I've been wanking. Which is a lot of the time, so I guess you could say I usually am.

[designedtoparty]

Then I'll withhold sex.