006 ∞ ACTION // VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan is leaned up a wall outside a bar, smoking and looking rather irritated. No, he is not wearing green. Which may explain the irritation.]

Okay, so some of you aren't from around here. And by 'here', I do mean worlds where you may find Ireland. I get that! I do. So, for the record? The phrase is 'kiss me, I'm Irish'. So, stop fucking pinching me. All right?

And if you are going to pinch me, at least have the decency to go for the arse.

[Nathan pauses to sniff and pout.]

Today of all days, I should be swimming in Guinness and blow jobs. Not dealing with this!

Jesus...

Comments

[designedtoparty]

About which part? Because it definitely feels like they care about pinching me.

[eiremagic]

That we're Irish.

[designedtoparty]

Well, maybe they should care. Then maybe they could focus on something other than attacking me for no reason.

[eiremagic]

How's them sayin' yeh're Irish goin' to make them stop?

[designedtoparty]

Because today's a celebration of how much better we are than anyone else. Which means, by rights, we should be treated like superior beings.

We should have people begging to be seen with us, offering us pint upon pint of free booze.

[eiremagic]

Is that what this fuckin' holiday is? I thought it was just another reason for people to call me leprechaun.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, well. You just have to ignore that stuff.

I usually just use it as an excuse to get really fucking drunk.

[eiremagic]

Don't get married.

[designedtoparty]

Trust me. No one's getting a catch like me down the aisle until I'm at least sixty.

Most likely never.

[eiremagic]

Well, that's good and well, but apparently this is the day people in this shitehole decide to get pissed and then married on.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, don't worry about it.

Okay, so maybe I'll slip one to a girl or three, but it's going to take more than a St Paddy's piss-up to get me drunk enough for that.

[eiremagic]

Good to know. I'm not feedin' another mouth.

[designedtoparty]

Oh. Well, it's nice to see you're so worried about my safety.

[eiremagic]

Yeh're immortal. What's the worst that can happen to yeh?

[designedtoparty]

Hey, there's at least one immortal girl here. What if I got tricked into marrying one of them?

[eiremagic]

If yeh marry Claire, I'll find a way to kill her.

[designedtoparty]

Not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, but you don't think that's a bit harsh?

[eiremagic]

I don' like her.

[designedtoparty]

Really? I couldn't tell!

[eiremagic]

Oh, whatever. Go get pissed.

[designedtoparty]

I'm counting on it.

If I come home an honest man, you have full permission to rid me of my bride.

[eiremagic]

I'll let Frankie know.