Me? I was done for eating some pick'n'mix.

Hey, anyone who's not obsessing over bread want to go for a drink, or something? I'd say leave it for a curse free night, but I'm feeling lucky, and who am I to deprive the world of this?

[He leans back from the camera, just to give everyone the full benefit of his lanky frame. A few seconds later, he holds up his finger and ducks away to go and scrounge under his bed. He emerges with this, courtesy of one very anonymous Weasley.]

Oh, yeah. And before I forget. Whoever left this? Funny. Your wank puppet's getting dumped if you don't claim it back soon, though. So unless you don't mind sharing with rats? I'd get on that.

Just don't go expecting those tissues back. There's probably still a few lying around somewhere, but I think they might be used.

[Nathan is hanging out at a bar, just waiting for the chance to take advantage of today's curse. Judging by the bright pink lipstick smear up his face and his smug grin, he's already been successful at least once. Or... just once. But that's not something he's about to admit.]

They really should have curses like this more often.

[There's a pause as he thinks on that one.] Or maybe curses that are a little more fulfilling. There are only so many times a man can take being left high and dry, you know.

[ooc; If you want action, feel free to switch it to whatever location you want. He's just going anywhere crowded today.]

Okay, so some of you appear to be having money trouble. That's okay. Nothing wrong with that. But there are ways to deal with it. Helpful ways that don't include, say... selling your flatmates. I was homeless for a few months myself, so I know the tricks of the trade. And you know what? I'm happy to share.

Rule 1: Never spend money unless you have to. You're at a bar? Find someone else who'll buy you a drink. Why should you have to pay when you don't have any cash? Your friend's already smoking? Get them to hand it over. It's supposed to be a social habit. Shoplifting's fairly easy, but you have to keep your eyes open if you don't want to get caught. It's best to avoid it if you can.

[Nathan turns to pat the vending machine he's standing next to.] You want food? This is your best bet. Yes, okay, this is a drinks machine, but it's the same principle. And honestly, if you have to put in money, you want to save it for the food machine. Things like Polos'll sometimes drop multiples.

Now... [He pauses, adopting a look of concentration as he strokes the machine.] The thing you have to remember is a vending machine is a lot like a woman. You hit the right spot... [Here he abruptly draws back, falling back on the vending machine with a full on body slam.] ...she'll give you anything you ask for.

C'mon, baby. [The next ten minutes or so are filled with Nathan attacking the vending with various puches, kicks, slams and overly sexual noises. Finally, there's a clatter and Nathan bends to retrieve the fallen can. He holds it up to the camera, triumphant, panting and grinning broadly.]

And that, ladies and gents, is how you rob a vending machine. You want anymore than that, I'm charging. Hope you can still afford it.

Hey. Guy who wanted to shoot me. You want the money I'd have had to spend on that?

[Nathan is leaned up a wall outside a bar, smoking and looking rather irritated. No, he is not wearing green. Which may explain the irritation.]

Okay, so some of you aren't from around here. And by 'here', I do mean worlds where you may find Ireland. I get that! I do. So, for the record? The phrase is 'kiss me, I'm Irish'. So, stop fucking pinching me. All right?

And if you are going to pinch me, at least have the decency to go for the arse.

[Nathan pauses to sniff and pout.]

Today of all days, I should be swimming in Guinness and blow jobs. Not dealing with this!

Jesus...