010 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Somehow, Nathan has got hold of a clipboard. He lounges on Eden's couch for a while, staring intently at the clipboard as though the video's an accident. It isn't, however. Which becomes apparently when Nathan sits himself up, as though to make an important announcement. He'd almost seem formal if it wasn't for his casual jeans and t-shirt.]

Ladies of the City! Preferably between the ages of 16 and 30. I'm here to show you the man of your dreams.

A while ago I promised my good friend Campbell I'd help get him laid by a lady who wasn't a serial killer. Seeing how his birthday is coming up and everything, I thought now would be a good time to live up to my word and give him that.

So, if you've managed to avoid killing someone, are relatively good looking and of the female persuasion, please step right up. I have a few questions to ask you... [At that he taps the clipboard meaningfully. Then he shrugs, dropping it on his lap.] But really, so long as you meet those three requirements, I'm sure you're probably fine.

Comments

[designedtoparty]

Ah. Well, I think even I may be tempted in that case. But since he presumably managed to avoid cannibalising yourself, you must have pretty strong willpower.

Well, I don't think he's fussy. And he's sort of all right looking. You could do much worse.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

There was just licking. No actual biting...[Now she's giving you a 'you're weird' look, Nathan]

I'm Campbell's friend. I have friend with benefit rules. He's a nice guy. I have done worse.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, still. I think I'd have lost a hand at the very least.

Right. Exactly [A pause.] So, would you do me?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

...you did not just--

Seriously? Do I have Hookers R Us written on my forehead? Campbell I can forgive. He's a friend and I walked into this knowing what was going on but you I don't know and that's just seriously rude. Generally I like to get to know my pimp before I let him line me up for a gangbang.

[Irritated Lucy is irritated]

[designedtoparty]

What? No! But how I am supposed to know you aren't a serial killer if I let you at him without getting so much as a hand job first?

[GOD, LUCY. LOGIC. Can't you see he's just trying to be a good friend?]

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Have I mentioned I'm easy. Not stupid.

[designedtoparty]

Is there a difference?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

And with that you've lost the right to speak to me.