010 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Somehow, Nathan has got hold of a clipboard. He lounges on Eden's couch for a while, staring intently at the clipboard as though the video's an accident. It isn't, however. Which becomes apparently when Nathan sits himself up, as though to make an important announcement. He'd almost seem formal if it wasn't for his casual jeans and t-shirt.]

Ladies of the City! Preferably between the ages of 16 and 30. I'm here to show you the man of your dreams.

A while ago I promised my good friend Campbell I'd help get him laid by a lady who wasn't a serial killer. Seeing how his birthday is coming up and everything, I thought now would be a good time to live up to my word and give him that.

So, if you've managed to avoid killing someone, are relatively good looking and of the female persuasion, please step right up. I have a few questions to ask you... [At that he taps the clipboard meaningfully. Then he shrugs, dropping it on his lap.] But really, so long as you meet those three requirements, I'm sure you're probably fine.

Comments

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

That is one of the nicest things anyone's ever tried t' get me for my birthday.

[designedtoparty]

What can I say? I like to look out for my mates. I'll even try and steer clear of the prostitutes for you.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, Campbell. Would you ever consider having sex with a man?

Because finding a woman is proving more difficult than I expected.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

[This requires pondering. Or, at least, a pause of about 10 seconds, which is about the same thing for Campbell.]

I dunno. Depends on the man, probably. But really? No girls?

[designedtoparty]

None at all. Don't worry, though. I'm sure we'll be able to find you one on the night.

You just pick one you like. We get her drunk, it's in the bag. I guarantee it.

[totallyinaband]

You guys are ridiculous.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, I'm getting him sex.

Say what you want, but I think we all know you're jealous I thought of the better present.

[totallyinaband]

I think we both know any girl in this city knows better than to come to you for a date. Even if it isn't with you.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, I'll have you know I got shagged just the other week. Good and proper.

[eiremagic]

[She sits on the couch next to him. It is, after all, her couch]

Any luck, boyo?

[designedtoparty]

Not unless you're here to offer yourself, no. [Which he's assuming she isn't, so he tosses the clipboard onto the floor.]

But no worries. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before they come running. And if they don't, he'll just have to make do without a present.

[eiremagic]

No, I'm not.

Why don' yeh just get him a calendar or some shite like that?

[designedtoparty]

It's April. Why would I get him a calender?

Anyway, he's well happy with it. He says it's the best present anyone's ever got for him. [Sadly, the wording change there is only very minor.]

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[selenoscape.livejournal.com]

W-What?! You can't do that!

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[designedtoparty]

And yet I am!

[He's holding the clipboard again now, pen in hand and a what's meant to be a disarming smile plastered across his face.] So! How old are you?

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[selenoscape.livejournal.com]

No! I'm not volunteering!

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[designedtoparty]

Not even for someone's birthday?

[brobeforehos.livejournal.com]

How business-like.

[designedtoparty]

I try my best.

[Trying to keep his mock-business attitude, Nathan picks up his clipboard, peering down at it intently before he looks at the camera again.] First question. What are your thoughts on sleeping with mentally ill Scotsmen?

[brobeforehos.livejournal.com]

Should I answer this as a mentally crooked Brit, or should I withold information as I might not fit the criteria?

[designedtoparty]

Be as honest as you like. I don't think he cares how mentally crooked you are.

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

Awww that's very sweet of you.

[designedtoparty]

Wait, really? [Of course Tamaki's post came after Nathan had got bored and misplaced his clipboard, so he's sadly without that now. But she's a good looking women and she called him sweet. Nathan thinks this could be an automatic in.]

So, are you serial killer?

[mghtbconcussed.livejournal.com]

You're trying to make sure Campbell has a good birthday. That's sweet. [Maybe. It's hard to tell. She's friends with Campbell but she'd be okay with that for the most part. You know if he didn't make it weird]

Only if you're chocolate.

[designedtoparty]

Well, I'm not chocolate. And neither was he, last I checked.

Want to be Campbell's present? [Grin. Here's hopeful here.]