026 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[One of Bro's yellow smuppets fills the screen. The rear end, if you want to get specific. When the smuppet's pulled back, the screen's back to monochrome, Nathan looking more than a little traumatised.]

What the fuck is this? It's horrifying. I mean, who wants to go for their morning piss to find this staring at them from behind the loo?

Is it some kind of puppet sex toy, or what? Its nose looks like a bloody dildo. Is that a nose? [Nathan pauses to poke at it suspiciously.] I bet there's anus sewn into its ass somewhere. Not that I'm planning on actually checking that. Fuck knows what some pervert's been doing with this thing. I bet there's months old spunk still up there.

[Rant apparently over, Nathan drops his arm so he's not waving the smuppet at the screen, scratching his cheek almost thoughtfully.]

I'll tell you what, though. I'm pissing yellow again. So, I guess something came out of this. You know, besides scarring me for the rest of my life.

Comments

[bringbrightdays.livejournal.com]

Yellow's a good color! It's a happy color! Soon you'll have green trees and blue skies and everything.

[designedtoparty]

Oh, I'm sure I will. No need to thank me. Just go around and plant more of these stupid puppets somewhere and I'll see what I can do.

[bringbrightdays.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like it. But the puppet is not my puppet.

[designedtoparty]

I don't like it. If you want it, you're more than welcome to it.

[l-arc-en-steal.livejournal.com]

Simmer down. I'll show you real excitement. I'm the star.

[designedtoparty]

Minus the puppets, right?

I like to think I'm an open-minded guy, but some things just go too far.

[l-arc-en-steal.livejournal.com]

Puppets? Who needs puppets when you've got monsters?

[designedtoparty]

That's also a little creepy. It might even be worse than those puppets.

[greedful-cheat.livejournal.com]

Why do you assume it's a guy's toy?

[designedtoparty]

Because if it was a girl's I think there'd be a little more juice on that nose of his.

I can pretty much gather this guy isn't into anal for the same reason.

[greedful-cheat.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's the only thing a girl could be using it for. Voodoo maybe...

You know, this could be completely innocent in nature.

[charring]

I found a blue one. It's mildly horrifying.

[Read: Can't sleep. Smuppet will eat her.]

[designedtoparty]

Mildly? It's like ending up in one of those Japanese sex shops. One look at the shit they sell you're either a fetishist, or end up impotent for the rest of your life.

[charring]

Mine was in the shower, staring at me from the faucet. Scared the hell out of me.

[dulcisnuntius.livejournal.com]

[There is a long pause from Dulcie's end before she speaks.]




That is a bit weird, yeah.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, just a bit weird. I think it's the nose that does it. The arse is perfectly normal.

[dulcisnuntius.livejournal.com]

In general or just in comparison to other puppets?

[thewildone]

There is nothing right about that thing.

[designedtoparty]

You're telling me.

[eiremagic]

What the bloody fuck is that thing?

It was in our toilet?

[designedtoparty]

I don't know. It's probably your boyfriend's.

Does he have some sort of fetish I don't know about?

[eiremagic]

No!

[Sometimes he bites though.]

video. sorry for the double comment.

[awkwards]

[ TMI, Nathan. Jesus.

She's grinning. Might as well tease the shit out of you. ]

This your way of telling us something?

video. HOW DARE YOU CLOG UP MY INBOX, GET OUT.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah. I'm telling I don't like creepy puppets staring at me when I piss. What part of that was hard to get?

video. YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO STAPLE MY HAND BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

[awkwards]

Dunno, Nathan. Kind of sounds like that's right up your alley.

[ You're a creeper, okay~ ]