designedtoparty | 002 ∞ VIDEO

002 ∞ VIDEO

[Hello, City. Today you are being treated to a lovely view of a scrawny, still kind of malnourished Nathan in nothing but his briefs. Should you be pleased? Well, he certainly seems to think so.]

Deities! Or anyone else who knows their way around a washing machine. I have an irresistible offer for you to take me up on.

Since my flatmate refuses to do my laundry for me, I've been left with no choice but to resort to other means.

What are these other means, you might ask. To which I respond, this. [Nathan trails his hands sloooowwwwwwwly down his torso, hands coming to a rest just above his crotch.]

That's right. In exchange for washing my clothes, I offer you my body, to do with as you wish. This will be an ongoing agreement, naturally. Unless your services aren't up to my standards, in which case I reserve the right to put a stop to any agreement we might have.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Anyone volunteer?

Not exactly, no.

So does that mean I'll be showing you to work the laundry.

Pfff, no. This one guy said he'd do it for free. It just means I'll have to find some other way of getting laid.

You could try finding someone who actually likes you.

Oh, please. Like that ever works out.

Never?

Well, obviously it works with some people. But I've been there, man.

You spend weeks building up the sexual tension. You're pretty damn sure you actually like each other. Then finally you manage to slip her a finger... then, BAM! All of a sudden she decides it's like shagging her cousin. It's bullshit.