designedtoparty | 012 ∞ VIDEO // ACTION

[Nathan is standing with his arms outstretched, his right arm with five ravens perched on it, and four crows on his left. His left shoulder is occupied by a blue and gold macaw. Despite being covered in a fair amount of bird poo (his navy hoodie may not have been his best choice today), he looks pretty pleased.]

Hey, Captain Birdseye. Say cunt.

[The macaw, Captain Birdseye, just whistles at him, much to Nathan's disappointment.]

No, cunt. C'mon, man. Say it with me. Cunt!

[This time he gets a screech and a click. Which still doesn't impress him. He frowns, starting to get a bit irritated.]

Cunt.

[Click. Nathan glares at him, sulkily.] Fine. Don't say it. [Side eye, then he mutters under his breath.] Twat.

[Screeeeeeeeeeeech.] Wanker. [Click, click, click. And then he's cleaning his feathers.]

What the fuck?! Where'd you get wanker from? I gave up on teaching you that one ages ago.

[Birdseye ignores him in favour of cleaning. Nathan pouts, arms drooping a little.] How long is this going to last for? My arms hurt.

[If you want action, Nathan is around the city, charging at random people with his bird flock.]

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[Campbell just beams, unfazed.] It's fantastic, aye?! I mean, I'm sorta getting hungry cos I cannae get DOWN but it's worth it, right? I dunno, you could try and grab one a' my legs or something if they bring me a bit closer down?

[Nathan flails his arms, trying to grab hold of Campbell somehow. It doesn't do much but cause his birds to start flapping all around his head.]

Get closer! I can't reach you.

I cannae steer! [Campbell looks irritated nd tries pulling slightly with his arms. But they're attached there so it doesn't work.]

C'mon! Go down!

[They don't. In fact, they get bored of circling, and start flying away.]

No! Doooown!

[They don't listen. They just keep flying away.]

Sorry, Nathaaaaan!

[Only then they swoop in a slow, lazy turn, and start coming in again.

For a dive.]

[Nathan can't quite decide whether to run or wait and grab hold of Campbell. When they start getting worryingly close, he raises his arms into a sort of defensive position, hoping that will protect him from Campbell's albatrosses long enough to cling to Campbell.

He's not sure what he'll do if they still attack him after that.]

[Ballast. Must. Get. Rid. Of. Ballast. :| They can't go too low, because they'll get hooked so they go for a bit of a dip upwards. It's going to be tight, though. There isn't even any interesting food that the other birds have, so lord knows why they are doing this, even. Anything to get rid of Campbell.

It's going to be kind of counterintuitive, though.]

WATCH OUUUUUUT!

[Nathan's... really not quite sure what's going on here. So at Campbell's warning he yelps, dropping so he's flat on the floor with his arms over his head. His birds are flapping noisily around his head, confused and angry.]

JESUS!

[Nor is Campbell. He would have barged directly into Nathan and as it is, he swoops over.]

I don't think they like you!!! I dunno if this is gonna work!

[And then he feels the slight turn.]

Shit, I think they're coming back!

[Nathan's just going to stay flat on the ground, birds still frantic and picking up on his panic.] Shit!

Fucking get them away from me! You're the one flying them.

Oh aye! Cos there's a steering wheel attached t' them!

[Campbell yells, a long, loud AAAAAAA as the birds swoop down again, lower this time, over Nathan.]

Can y' stop lookin' like a target or something?!

How?!

I didn't think I looked like on to begin with!

I dunno! I'm no an albatross!

[He does a bit of trying to struggle against the ropes holding him up to try and influence the direction of the birds. It doesn't work very well because Campbell is a stick-man.]

Get against a wall or something!!!

[Okay, okay. Scrambling up at making a dash for the nearest wall. He's definitely going to stay facing it. He's not exactly keen on getting his eyes pecked out.]

Fuck! This'd better not get me cornered!

[The birds do a bit of circling, and an attempt to swoop in, resulting in a bit of freaked out screaming from Campbell, but there's too many of them to do any precision flying, and they're attached to Campbell besides. They bang his feet on the top of the building though, flying over.]

OW. That's the last time I'm askin' them t' do anything!!!

[Nathan's not daring to move from where he's flat against the building, even to look at the position of Campbell's birds.]

Are you going yet?

I think so! They cannae even get close t' you there!

[They're circling him higher up again.]

Look, sorry about the attacks. And that you cannae fly!

It's okay! Just don't come near me until you've found your feet.

Bye!

012 ∞ VIDEO // ACTION

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