designedtoparty: (yours forever...)
Hi Mum,

Camp is total shit. I should've taken jail time instead of helping out here. The kids are all really ugly, but for some reason the pedos are still going after them. They don't even make up for their looks with personality. To be fair though I think only a few of the counsellors are inclined that way. The rest are just murdering psychopaths or kind of stupid. I guess you have to be when you're working with kids parents hate enough to ship off to camp. You should tell Jezza to get a job up here. I bet he'd fit right in.

On the plus side I get to confiscate things. Technically that might be down to the full on counsellors, but I've been doing it anyway. I've got a Zune I'm going to send out to you. And a Snickers bar since we both know Zunes are kind of wank. I might also send you my washing, but I'm going to see if I can get some of the kids to do it first. They think anything's fun compared to the shit they call entertainment here.

Nathan
x
designedtoparty: (yours forever...)
[Nathan is hanging out on a bench near the fountain, seeming more interested in his phone than the camera.]

You know, Johnny. I was going to text you, but I keep getting this overwhelming urge to tell you to try slipping me an E before you send me to my fiery grave. Since you're probably still on a trial period thanks to you being a total psychopath, I thought it'd be best to say where all your police friends could hear me pointing out that you're not my current drug dealer, even if I do have my suspicions about what you do on the side.

That, and I couldn't be bothered to think up a new alias for you. But it's mostly the dealer thing.
designedtoparty: (inspiring failure)
[Nathan is standing with his arms outstretched, his right arm with five ravens perched on it, and four crows on his left. His left shoulder is occupied by a blue and gold macaw. Despite being covered in a fair amount of bird poo (his navy hoodie may not have been his best choice today), he looks pretty pleased.]

Hey, Captain Birdseye. Say cunt.

[The macaw, Captain Birdseye, just whistles at him, much to Nathan's disappointment.]

No, cunt. C'mon, man. Say it with me. Cunt!

[This time he gets a screech and a click. Which still doesn't impress him. He frowns, starting to get a bit irritated.]

Cunt.

[Click. Nathan glares at him, sulkily.] Fine. Don't say it. [Side eye, then he mutters under his breath.] Twat.

[Screeeeeeeeeeeech.] Wanker. [Click, click, click. And then he's cleaning his feathers.]

What the fuck?! Where'd you get wanker from? I gave up on teaching you that one ages ago.

[Birdseye ignores him in favour of cleaning. Nathan pouts, arms drooping a little.] How long is this going to last for? My arms hurt.

[If you want action, Nathan is around the city, charging at random people with his bird flock.]

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Nathan Young

January 2020

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