designedtoparty | 029 ∞ VIDEO

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029 ∞ VIDEO

Hey, anyone who's not obsessing over bread want to go for a drink, or something? I'd say leave it for a curse free night, but I'm feeling lucky, and who am I to deprive the world of this?

[He leans back from the camera, just to give everyone the full benefit of his lanky frame. A few seconds later, he holds up his finger and ducks away to go and scrounge under his bed. He emerges with this, courtesy of one very anonymous Weasley.]

Oh, yeah. And before I forget. Whoever left this? Funny. Your wank puppet's getting dumped if you don't claim it back soon, though. So unless you don't mind sharing with rats? I'd get on that.

Just don't go expecting those tissues back. There's probably still a few lying around somewhere, but I think they might be used.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

What did you do?

I ate some pick'n'mix.

Some what?

You know. Sweets. Candy.

Don't they teach Americans anything?

Sure. Even if I can't think of scenarios offhand where you'd be arrested for eating candy.

They'll arrest you for anything in England. I bet you'd get a lifetime sentence for wearing those glasses.

Shit, man, seriously? Only a matter of time before your hair gets you in trouble, then, I figure. I've got a katana if you need a cheap haircut.

Oh, I've been pulled in for it multiple times already. You don't even want to know what I've done to stay out of jail.

Community service, apparently.

That too.

Too. How much cock are you trying to imply you've sucked, man?

You know they have women in the police, right?

You know there's no chance you'd hit a policewoman every time. Or even usually. Question stands.

Well, I can assure you that I've never intentionally put my mouth anywhere near another man's cock.

It's debatable whether or not it counts as intentional if you have to do it to get out of doing time but I'll give you that one.

Nothing counts if you're doing it to get out of time. They have to keep things off the record or they'll lose their job.

Why do you think so many cops are closest queers?

I'd like to take this juncture in time to indicate the unavoidably delightful fact that you've yet to satisfactorily deny the involvement of your mouth with the aforementioned cop cock. At most you've reinforced it.

I've never sucked off a cop.

Good enough? Or were you hoping I'd suck yours if I thought it'd keep you quiet about it?

You've seen through my clever ploy. My shame is near palpable.

You were obsessing far too much.

If you were more subtle the next time, you might just about be able to pull it off. [Because Nathan is clearly an expert on subtlety.]

I can see I'll need the addition of a notebook to all of my interactions with you henceforth. Perhaps a binder for organisational purposes. Your alphabetised words of wisdom.

And incidentally, don't flatter yourself, you're probably shit. If I was to imply anything, it would be the opposite.

Hey, I'm very talented. The ladies can't keep their hands off me. You'd be lucky to have me go gay for you.

Would I really? I find it pertinent to ascertain: you do realise there are certain fundamental differences between homosexual and heterosexual sex, no? And only one of us, according to you, has had any practise in it? Do you imagine you're a natural?