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[designedtoparty]

Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.

Comments

[feorge]

Bloody Hell, Nathan. You ought to be banned from the public.

[designedtoparty]

I ought to be banned from public? This stuff happened! I just thought everyone should be aware of it.

[feorge]

No, see, this's all fine and dandy so long as everyone isn't aware of it. You're horrible.

[designedtoparty]

Your brother seemed all right with it. I bet he even appreciated finding out how he could get into her knickers.

[feorge]

Never underestimate the talents of a Weasley, mate.

[designedtoparty]

Have I ever?

[feorge]

Not to date, and you're a wise man for it.

[awkwards]

Public? Seriously? We should've left him in his grave!

[designedtoparty]

Oh, great. Thanks. It's good to know you're so appreciative.

this icon is so relevant to everything he says

[awkwards]

[ :| ]

Appreciative of what?

She doesn't look that awestruck.

[designedtoparty]

[Hang on. He'll think of something. Maybe.]

Well, you're talking to people, aren't you? Imagine how many friends you could make from this.

she is on the inside. she has a reputation to keep!

[awkwards]

Er, doubt anyone's gonna wanna be friends with me while having read that shit. They all think I like skull fucking.

Oh, well. I guess that's forgiveable, then.

[designedtoparty]

Relax. Most of them don't believe me. I bet they don't even believe the parts about Barry.

(annoyed) do i have to rob a bank for you to know that it is forgiveable?

[awkwards]

Well, for starter's, his name isn't Barry.

Does anyone believe you around here?

It would help.

[designedtoparty]

Occasionally. Some people more than others.

brb setting up alisha's 11.

[awkwards]

Do you say anything that is actually true?

\o/

[designedtoparty]

Sometimes. When it might actually sound interesting.

you're kind of not invited tho. :/

[awkwards]

Nothing you say is actually interesting.

[feorge]

Far too kind a heart to have saved this one, love.

[awkwards]

Nathan doesn't have a heart. You know that, right? Just a prick.

Seriously, don't believe any of the shit he says. I don't like being fucked in the skull.

[feorge]

Not to worry. I find ignoring a vast majority of what he says to be good for health of mind.

[awkwards]

Ignoring only seems to encourage him. Or he just talks louder.

He's irritating as fuck.

[feorge]

You must be so fond of him.

[awkwards]

As fond as you can be of a pain in the arse.

Honestly, none of you have a fucking clue. [ She's grinning here. ]

[feorge]

Ah, but where would we be if we did?