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[designedtoparty]

Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.

Comments

[onlyholey]

Top class work there, mate.

[designedtoparty]

Thanks, man. I think I spent almost half an hour on it.

[onlyholey]

And it shows.

[charring]

The one time I look at my device today and this is what I see.

What the hell?

[designedtoparty]

Hey, now. That's very rude. It's dedicated to two of my best friends.

[orangetoughguy]

...Short and pale means you're a virgin where you're from?

[designedtoparty]

I think you missed the part about the staring.

[awkwards]

In Nathan's dictionary, yeah. Don't believe a word this prick says.

[bedsidemanners.livejournal.com]

Is that first paragraph true?

[designedtoparty]

Well, the first part may have been an exaggeration. She's probably only been into sex since puberty.

[eiremagic]

Who the fuck is Barry?

[designedtoparty]

He's my friend.

[valentineluke.livejournal.com]

Obviously typed with one hand.

[designedtoparty]

Do you really think I'd disrespect my friends like that?

[feorge]

Bloody Hell, Nathan. You ought to be banned from the public.

[designedtoparty]

I ought to be banned from public? This stuff happened! I just thought everyone should be aware of it.

[awkwards]

Public? Seriously? We should've left him in his grave!

video; 1/8 i do not apologise.

[awkwards]

[ ... ]

video; 2/8 you asked for this jsyk

[awkwards]

What the fuck -

video; 3/8

[awkwards]

You disgusting pervert -

video; 4/8

[awkwards]

I do not like to be fucked in the skull. I don't find that shit hot, either.

video; 5/8

[awkwards]

Nor does Simon do that weird perverted shit, you wanker!

video; 6/8

[awkwards]

And stop telling everyone shit about me!

video; 7/8

[awkwards]

There is something seriously fucking wrong with you.

video; 8/8 lmao i love this entire post

[awkwards]

Swear to god you were dropped on the head as a kid.