designedtoparty: (I think I'm taller)
Naughty:

- Broke that rule about no shagging in the flat. Sorry, Eden.
- Dared someone to shit in front of the police station. I wasn't really cursed.
- Let a 13 yr old try smoking.
- Stopped mum ever having a decent boyfriend. Now she's stuck with a guy who thinks he's a dog.
- Do you think covering up the deaths of probation workers counts here? Probably.
- I may have cheated a time or two the first time we went out, Dulcie. It never happened after the last visitors day though, I swear.
- Pissed off Frankie. It's not my fault he makes it so easy.
- Pissed off my dad. He mostly deserves it.
- I may have exaggerated a few things about Barry. He's still creepy, though.
- I could go on.

Nice:

- Let all those cursed girls take advantage of me yesterday.
- Let Campbell lose his v-card to my girlfriend.
- I tried to help him lose it for his birthday, but no one was nice enough to volunteer to be his present.
- Got Dulcie that hat. And ice cream.
- I think I may have used my power for good at some point.
- Dedicated Cameron a song on Campbell's radio show, even though he refused to play it.
- Helped Alisha make friends here.
- I could probably go on if I could be bothered with this.

If the naughty outweighs the nice does that mean I get a spanking by Santa's sexy elves?
designedtoparty: (yours forever...)
Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.
designedtoparty: (yours forever...)
Hi Mum,

Camp is total shit. I should've taken jail time instead of helping out here. The kids are all really ugly, but for some reason the pedos are still going after them. They don't even make up for their looks with personality. To be fair though I think only a few of the counsellors are inclined that way. The rest are just murdering psychopaths or kind of stupid. I guess you have to be when you're working with kids parents hate enough to ship off to camp. You should tell Jezza to get a job up here. I bet he'd fit right in.

On the plus side I get to confiscate things. Technically that might be down to the full on counsellors, but I've been doing it anyway. I've got a Zune I'm going to send out to you. And a Snickers bar since we both know Zunes are kind of wank. I might also send you my washing, but I'm going to see if I can get some of the kids to do it first. They think anything's fun compared to the shit they call entertainment here.

Nathan
x
designedtoparty: (buried alive)
In Loving Memory
Nathan Young
1989 - 3000

Who turned out to not be so immortal after all.
Gored up the anus with a red hot poker by midgets
who could not take his promiscuity anymore.

Sadly missed by all but one of his many
tri-breasted wives and mutant children.


You know, I have a proper one of these my mum wrote for me. It was a lot more thoughtful than this one. And probably a lot more expensive, seeing how it was done in marble and everything.

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Nathan Young

January 2020

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