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[designedtoparty]

Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.

Comments

[designedtoparty]

I pissed on his side of the bed.

i loled :D. also, keywords.

[awkwards]

What is it with you and pissing everywhere?

Jesus, you really aren't original, are you? [ Poor Nikki. ]

[designedtoparty]

I don't piss everywhere. It was supposed to make him look like he'd wet it, only apparently grown men don't piss themselves at night.

I don't know where she got that idea from, because I know for a fact now that isn't true.

[And he shat in Nikki's bed. That was way different.]

[awkwards]

No, they just turn into dogs or whatever.

Why can't you just do things the normal way? Honestly, no wonder people don't take you seriously.

[designedtoparty]

According to Mum. I still can't believe she's all right with that.

It grabs their attention. They notice, don't they?

[awkwards]

Well, he does have a massive cock.

But they don't take you seriously.

[designedtoparty]

He does not. Jesus.

Why don't you go and suck it if you like it so much?

[Just ignoring everything else. Because, really. Why do you have such an obsession with Jezza's cock?]

[awkwards]

[ Why are you such a prick? ]

Er, no thanks. I'm not the one who has a picture of it on my phone.

[designedtoparty]

[You love him, Alisha. Don't lie.]

That wasn't my phone.

[awkwards]

[ :c a.b. ♥ n.y. ]

Whatever. I wasn't the one who took the picture. Better?

[designedtoparty]

[You forgot 4 eva.]

How else was I supposed to prove anything to my mum?

[awkwards]

[ It's implied. Immortal + Sexy touch = eternity. ]

Maybe just talk to her? She's not a complete moron, you know. And it only proves he likes sleeping naked in alleys.

[designedtoparty]

I tried that! None of you lot would back me up.

Maybe if you weren't all such self-centred cunts I wouldn't have had to resort to photography.

[awkwards]

We didn't fucking know you back then! As if we'd back up the prick who says the dumbest shit.

It didn't help you kept insulting all of us!

[designedtoparty]

You're saying you'd back me up now?

[awkwards]

[ Yes. Why does this pain her to say so? ] If you weren't being a prick and had a point, yeah. I would.

[designedtoparty]

Aw. That's sweet. I'd back you up if your mum started dating a weird, dog guy, too.

[awkwards]

Thanks. [ ... ] I think.

But I think you'd just make the situation even worse.