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[designedtoparty]

Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.

Comments

I bet everyone will be screaming to be let through those doors.

[designedtoparty]

Only the one where I'm having sex and it turns out to be my old PE teacher.

The rest of them are all pretty standard. Or at least enjoyable enough there's no way they count as fucked up.

and we can deny deny deny. only the pretty people in orange can come in!

[awkwards]

They're yours. Instantly fucked.

[ ... lmao grin ] Did you fancy your PE teacher?

And Barry. He can come, too.

[designedtoparty]

No! [Don't laugh. These dreams are really traumatic, okay?]

She was one of them really skinny ones who practically had a buzz cut and no tits. You know the wrinkly ones going through menopause who look sort of like a turkey? I think she might've been a lesbian.

... (unsure)

[awkwards]

Then why did you dream of shagging her, then? Maybe you fancied her on some level?

:( Only if you want him there, bb.

[designedtoparty]

Or maybe she was a child molester and now I'm having flashbacks of the memories I repressed from it.

i only want you /cheesy

[awkwards]

I don't know who's going to need the therapy more. You or me. [ :| ]

Seriously, have you not spoken to anyone about the shit you claim others do?

;-; Then no one else is invited.

[designedtoparty]

My mum got me to talk to the police about one of her boyfriends once.

I can't say that one turned out too well.

;o; good, because the invites were going to be lost in the mail!

[awkwards]

Why? Didn't you tell the truth?

[designedtoparty]

Well, I was sort of making it up. [And nearly landed an innocent man in jail. Whoops.]

[awkwards]

And you wonder why we don't believe a word you say.

Do you honestly think about shit before you say it?

OH GOD, OF ALL THE WORDS TO LEAVE OUT, SELF.

[designedtoparty]

Does it matter? I dropped the charges, and he stopped dicking around with my mum.

I think it all worked out nicely.

DYING. YOU CAN'T ESCAPE IT. I'M FRAMING THAT AND PUTTING IT ON THE FRIDGE!

[awkwards]

So, you're saying you did it for your mum? [ Strangely nice ... ]

fsjk You are so cruel to me.

[designedtoparty]

Not that she was very appreciative. [I wonder why...]

funny, here i was thinking you were so beautiful to me ...

[awkwards]

Well, did you tell her you were looking out for her? In your prickish way of yours.

How do you know the way to my heart so well?

[designedtoparty]

Of course I did. She wouldn't listen.

i paved it with my sexy intentions

[awkwards]

How did you tell her?

And you paved it well.

[designedtoparty]

I told her he was a prick.

FOLLOW THE BREADCRUMBS TO MY BUNK PLEASE.

[awkwards]

That's it? That's your "Mum, I'm worried about you"?

/follows

[designedtoparty]

She already knew. It's not like child abuse was the first thing I jumped to.

[God, Alisha. How messed up do you think he is?]

(gyay)

[awkwards]

What was the first thing you jumped to?

[ Do you really want an answer to that? ]

[designedtoparty]

I pissed on his side of the bed.

i loled :D. also, keywords.

[awkwards]

What is it with you and pissing everywhere?

Jesus, you really aren't original, are you? [ Poor Nikki. ]

[designedtoparty]

I don't piss everywhere. It was supposed to make him look like he'd wet it, only apparently grown men don't piss themselves at night.

I don't know where she got that idea from, because I know for a fact now that isn't true.

[And he shat in Nikki's bed. That was way different.]

[awkwards]

No, they just turn into dogs or whatever.

Why can't you just do things the normal way? Honestly, no wonder people don't take you seriously.

[designedtoparty]

According to Mum. I still can't believe she's all right with that.

It grabs their attention. They notice, don't they?