028 ∞ VIDEO

[designedtoparty]

[Nathan is slouched with his hood up in Eden's bathroom a secret location. This was not the Halloween he was hoping for.]

Okay, so when we're all done reenacting Cannibal Holocaust, can we please go back to treating this holiday with a bit of respect? The only thing we should be eating here is pussy. [Oh, wait. Forgetting something.] And chocolate. Preferably together.

I mean, come on. What is Halloween if not an excuse to dress like a retard and pick up cheap, slutty chicks in even cheaper bars? I should not have to worry about weird zombie curses today of all days.

Comments

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

[Yes, Nathan, this is that creepy agent guy from The Matrix addressing you. Seemingly.]

Got yourself in more trouble, Nathan?

1/2

[shall-yield-us.livejournal.com]

[shall-yield-us.livejournal.com]

...I don't suppose you've been told how delicious you look today, have you?

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[designedtoparty]

[What do you know, Lockdown. For once Nathan doesn't seem completely uncomfortable.]

Why does everyone assume things are my fault?

[designedtoparty]

[Oh, hey. It's that one creeper.]

Several times. Normally I wouldn't complain, but the whole missing chunks of flesh thing really doesn't work for me.

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

'Cause you're a magnet for this kinda thing.

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[designedtoparty]

How would you know?

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

I just do.

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[designedtoparty]

Look. Whatever anyone's told you, it's a lie.

[Although there are a few people who might not spread awful things about him... maybe.] Unless you've heard tales of my prowess as a lover. In which case, you heard right.

[shall-yield-us.livejournal.com]

Now, now, after the first three or four slices, you wouldn't be long alive.

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

Is that so? Can't say I've heard that, but certain parties figure you're just bragging.

[dulcisnuntius.livejournal.com]

So what's your costume, then?

[valentineluke.livejournal.com]

Advocating the consumption of cats - for shame!

[video]

[charring]

That explains the three people that asked me at work if I was on the menu. [They are now walking around with burns on their person and Charlie has a few bruises on her from being bitten.]

[eiremagic]

Are you hiding in me toilet?

[designedtoparty]

That depends. On a scale of 1 to 10, how tempted are you to sink your teeth into the tender flesh of my thighs?

[designedtoparty]

Who said anything about cats?

[video]

[designedtoparty]

And who can blame them?

Are you sure they were planning on eating you? I mean, that's one of the oldest lines in the book. Even I've used it a time or two.

[designedtoparty]

Zombie Invasion Survivor #69. What's it look like?

I was going to pick something else up this morning, but what with all the weirdness going around, I didn't quite get around to it. [Which, on the plus side, does mean some poor shop owner isn't going to get robbed today.]</small]

[designedtoparty]

Right. So, that's still three or four slices too long. Not to mention the part where I don't actually want to die.

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[designedtoparty]

Then certain parties don't know what they're missing.

That's okay, though. Certain parties aren't my type without excessive consumption of alcohol and a significantly more feminine figure.

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

I can bet certain parties wouldn't mind finding out.

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[designedtoparty]

You know that last part was a hint, right? Seriosly, man. I'm not even trying to be subtle here.

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[ruthless-hunter.livejournal.com]

You think I don't see that? I just chose to ignore that hint.

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[awkwards]

[ ... You are so disgusting, Nathan. ]

You don't need this holiday to dress like a retard.