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Alisha had always loved sex. You only needed to speak to her for five minutes to work that one out. Or just make physical contact if you wanted to cut right down to the chase. How else would you explain the reason behind her ability to inflict uncontrollable urges onto anyone she went near?

But anyway, the point was she'd found herself wanting to shag Barry. He was practically a virgin and anyone with a pair of eyes could see why. He was short and pale with the sort of stare that followed any sane man into his nightmares. Yet one glance from him and Alisha found herself soaking her knickers, and just to be clear, we aren't talking urine here.

She'd always preferred failed athletes in the past, so she had no idea where this was coming from. Still, she thought he was kind of hot in a weird, creepy sort of way, so she guessed she must have a thing for obvious serial killers in the making too.

One day when Alisha couldn't take it any longer she pulled Barry off to one side and shoved her hand against his throat. Barry tensed, eyes psychotic as he wheezed out yet another of his deepest, darkest sex fantasies.

"I want to dissect your skull and fuck you in the brain," he snarled in a tone so monstrous Alisha was sure he must be serious. She'd hoped whatever freaky shit he came out with would put her off, but instead Alisha found herself incredibly turned on and fucked him there and then. Lucky for both of them, Barry resisted the urge to go through with his fetishes and after they even agreed to go out as long as Barry was restrained for all further sexual endeavours. Alisha liked what there was of her brains and Barry probably got off on that bondage shit anyway.

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Yes, he does. How else do you explain me knowing intimate details about your sex life?

Er, you're a pervert? [ Like, total duh. ]

Yeah, and brain fucking's my favourite fetish.

I might like Barry, but he's no Curtis. I wouldn't watch even if I did walk in on you.

[ ... ]

What?

What do you mean what?

You watched me and Curtis?

Of course not. But I would've considered it if you didn't insist on locking yourselves away all the time.

[ ... ] There is something seriously wrong with you.

[ You're kind of disgusting, Nathan.

But, you know what, Careless Whisper? She's going to smile and tease the shit out of you instead of feeling awkward as fuck. ] You got a thing for Curtis?

No. I'd just rather look at him than Barry. You have to admit his cock is way nicer.

[This is what every man looks at when he's pissing next to another man, okay?]

[ ...

Massive "..." ]

Maybe Kelly was right. You are really gay.

Kelly told you I was gay?

She of all people should know me better than that.

You just said - [ Fuck it. She was talking to a total moron. ]

Why? 'Cause you two fancy each other or some weird shit? [ Pfft. 'Sif. ]

I know what I said. That doesn't make me gay.

We're over it, all right? We've all moved on. But without giving too much away, we've had more than our fair share of encounters, and she knows I'm a very big fan of pussy.

Dunno. You being you makes you a lot of things.

Jesus fuck - [ TMI NATHAN. But Alisha is super curious about this Nathan/Kelly 'ship, ngl. But let her be disgusted, first. ] - Do you have no shame?

And gay isn't one of them.

Didn't I already answer that one before? The answer's still no, in case you were wondering.

[ Mumble: ] Retard is.

No, I wasn't. [ Yes. She was. ] Kind of don't think about you. Ever.

Deaf isn't, either.

[He snorts.] Just because you don't want anyone to find out we're friends.

Dumb definitely is.

We're not friends. Friends don't do this shit to each other, Nathan. Look it up. Better yet, watch that Jennifer Aniston show. That's what friends do - says so in the bloody title. [ He is her only close friend here. :( ]

Yeah, whatever. I think we both know that's not true.

What, Friends? It's a big pile of wank. Why would I want to watch that? [:( It's okay, baby. Twatface will take care of you.]

You're just a prick. [ Fall back on that old line. ]

Because that's what friends are like? Fuck if I know. I just know this shit isn't friendship. It's you being a twat again. [ (cozy) ]

Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the month this morning.

Jesus. What's up with you?

[ You're about to never wake up again, bro. ]

You wrote this shit about me and Simon! Now everyone knows about my shitty power and - jesus, no one needs to see this, alright?

Edited 2011-11-22 13:23 (UTC)

I was cursed! I couldn't help myself.

[Except... he's not cursed. He's not about to tell her that, though.]

If you're cursed, you'd act like a nice person. You know, not like the twat that you are. [ ... ] When you're you, that's like everyone else being cursed.

You don't know that.

Edited 2011-11-22 13:32 (UTC)

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