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[designedtoparty]

In Loving Memory
Nathan Young
1989 - 3000

Who turned out to not be so immortal after all.
Gored up the anus with a red hot poker by midgets
who could not take his promiscuity anymore.

Sadly missed by all but one of his many
tri-breasted wives and mutant children.

You know, I have a proper one of these my mum wrote for me. It was a lot more thoughtful than this one. And probably a lot more expensive, seeing how it was done in marble and everything.

Comments

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Jesus. Your mum and friends know you're immortal now, though, right? They willnae do it again?

[designedtoparty]

Nah.

I mean, okay, maybe I wouldn't put it past some of my friends, but my mum wouldn't. She loves me. And besides, she'd be lucky to get a son half as good looking as I am if she tried having kids again.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

She's no immortal too, is she?

[designedtoparty]

What? No. Why would my mum be immortal? That's ridiculous.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Cos you are. I dunno, it could be inheritable.

Actually, that's a good point, maybe you'll be raising a load of immortal mutant weans.

[designedtoparty]

There's no way it's inheritable, all right!?

I got it in a storm. It's hardly likely it's going to be passed on to the next generation, now, is it? [He hopes. He really, really hopes.]

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

It could be! I bet the storm changed your entire DNA. That's how superheroes always work.

[designedtoparty]

What, seriously? Why did no one warn me about this!? Barry's into all this comic book shit. He should've warned me!

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Maybe he just thought y' should know automatically.

[designedtoparty]

Why would I know that? I have better things to do than immerse myself in all that geek stuff.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

I thought it was common knowledge.

[designedtoparty]

Maybe if you're into all that. Like I say, I've got better things to be getting on with.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Aye, like your superpowers that you didnae even know how they worked, cos of all your better things than looking them up.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, I spent six whole weeks trying to figure out what my power was. Forgive me if I wasn't so big on researching after that.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

You knew what it was, then, though! That should've been when you could properly look into it. Or ask your mate if he's the sort t' know.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, well. I didn't. It's immortality. How was I supposed to know there was more to it than coming back from the dead?

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Don't you have a mentor or anything?

[designedtoparty]

No? It's not like we've got immortals running all over the place, or anything. So far as I know, I'm the only one where I come from.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

You could ask around the....you could ask around the internet, could you no?

[designedtoparty]

Oh, hey! Why didn't I think of that? I could put it on my Twitter. Or Mate Share, or something.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Cos you're no as clever as me, obviously. I wish I had super powers. It'd be brilliant.

Well, except I reckon you won't remember this when you go back.

[designedtoparty]

Depends on what you get. All my friends have shit powers. I got really lucky.

You never know! Maybe I'll get this little voice in the back of my mind telling me to advertise my immortality online. Or I could get it tattooed! But that'd be expensive and would probably look shit, anyway.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

D'you think? Cos I think it'd be really really cool t' have any powers at all!

The tattoo probably get undone anyway, or else it'd be weird, cos you'd just suddenly have it. And that cannae happen wi' aging, can it, cos otherwise you'd be there as yourself one moment and the next as an 80 year old man if y' stayed so long. Hey, can you age? Are you just gonna get sooo old, y' cannae move, but y' still cannae die?

[designedtoparty]

Hey, loads of these storm powers are really shit. How would you like to turn people bald? Or start running around the estate naked every time you set eyes on a terrier? [Not that either of those are his friends powers. But the point still stands.]

I don't think so. It seems kind of pointless if I can age. I mean, I'll get to sixty, then I may as well be dead anyway.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

The first one's no that bad.

Aye, but so far, how much has your power been exactly what you wanted? Maybe there'll be a curse and we'll get t' find out!