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[designedtoparty]

In Loving Memory
Nathan Young
1989 - 3000

Who turned out to not be so immortal after all.
Gored up the anus with a red hot poker by midgets
who could not take his promiscuity anymore.

Sadly missed by all but one of his many
tri-breasted wives and mutant children.

You know, I have a proper one of these my mum wrote for me. It was a lot more thoughtful than this one. And probably a lot more expensive, seeing how it was done in marble and everything.

Comments

[designedtoparty]

Anyway, I'd say it makes me look more like a man of achievement than a tosser.

If I want to show off my sensitive side, I can always have them put up the one my mum wrote next to it.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

And that one made you look sensitive? ... You no were buried, were you?!

[designedtoparty]

For days! Maybe weeks. I had to claw my way out of that thing. Like a vampire!

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Jesus. Your mum and friends know you're immortal now, though, right? They willnae do it again?

[designedtoparty]

Nah.

I mean, okay, maybe I wouldn't put it past some of my friends, but my mum wouldn't. She loves me. And besides, she'd be lucky to get a son half as good looking as I am if she tried having kids again.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

She's no immortal too, is she?

[designedtoparty]

What? No. Why would my mum be immortal? That's ridiculous.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Cos you are. I dunno, it could be inheritable.

Actually, that's a good point, maybe you'll be raising a load of immortal mutant weans.

[designedtoparty]

There's no way it's inheritable, all right!?

I got it in a storm. It's hardly likely it's going to be passed on to the next generation, now, is it? [He hopes. He really, really hopes.]

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

It could be! I bet the storm changed your entire DNA. That's how superheroes always work.

[designedtoparty]

What, seriously? Why did no one warn me about this!? Barry's into all this comic book shit. He should've warned me!

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Maybe he just thought y' should know automatically.

[designedtoparty]

Why would I know that? I have better things to do than immerse myself in all that geek stuff.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

I thought it was common knowledge.

[designedtoparty]

Maybe if you're into all that. Like I say, I've got better things to be getting on with.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Aye, like your superpowers that you didnae even know how they worked, cos of all your better things than looking them up.

[designedtoparty]

Hey, I spent six whole weeks trying to figure out what my power was. Forgive me if I wasn't so big on researching after that.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

You knew what it was, then, though! That should've been when you could properly look into it. Or ask your mate if he's the sort t' know.

[designedtoparty]

Yeah, well. I didn't. It's immortality. How was I supposed to know there was more to it than coming back from the dead?

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

I dunno. Don't you have a mentor or anything?

[designedtoparty]

No? It's not like we've got immortals running all over the place, or anything. So far as I know, I'm the only one where I come from.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

You could ask around the....you could ask around the internet, could you no?

[designedtoparty]

Oh, hey! Why didn't I think of that? I could put it on my Twitter. Or Mate Share, or something.

[loonyandproud.livejournal.com]

Cos you're no as clever as me, obviously. I wish I had super powers. It'd be brilliant.

Well, except I reckon you won't remember this when you go back.

[designedtoparty]

Depends on what you get. All my friends have shit powers. I got really lucky.

You never know! Maybe I'll get this little voice in the back of my mind telling me to advertise my immortality online. Or I could get it tattooed! But that'd be expensive and would probably look shit, anyway.