Me? I was done for eating some pick'n'mix.

[Dulcie's living room is unusually full of baby things today. Nathan isn't exactly an unusual feature, but Stephen Stills' cat probably is. Little Neil is held up to the camera in a more than slightly ridiculous Christmas outfit. Nathan has claw marks across his face, but that doesn't seem to have any impact on his mood. He looks tearfully proud of the unhappy cat in his arms. For once it looks like it might even be genuine.]

Isn't he the cutest? I think he's got your eyes. And your smile.

[The cat is... definitely not smiling. He's pretty confined in his current position, but that doesn't stop him grumbling warningly. Nathan doesn't even notice, leaning forward to kiss Dulcie, who's giggling from the other end of the camera. Nathan's obscuring the view at this point, but an angry hiss can be heard as Neil struggles free, and the camera refocuses on him stumbling his way over to the other side of the room. Stupid elf shoes.

After watching Neil find a suitable hiding place, Nathan turns back to beam at the camera.] He's coming along so fast. I can't believe how well he's crawling already.

[ooc: Both Nathan and Dulcie are affected by it's a Boat, it's a Bug, it's Ours. Dulcie and Little Neil godmodded lovingly with Marion's permission.]

[In an interesting incident of a device actually hating the other person involved more than its owner, the video flips on, inconveniently, as per usual. It's Chris' room, if you're used to recognising it, and his bed, and him IN the bed, draped over another person.

Luckily for the Network, no bits are exposed, however, enough shoulder and back and at least one leg is showing to indicate nakedness of both bodies. His, and (evident instantly from the device in question, if not also the hair) Nathan's bodies.

At this point, Nathan is just waking up. Raising his head a little, he grimaces, trying to shove Chris off him.]

Jesus. Did you put on weight? I remember you being a lot less heavy last-- [Pause. Is that...? His voice rises a few pitches as he finishes that sentence.] night?

[Chris had a busy night. He's tired. It takes him a while to register anything. His death grip gets actually WORSE momentarily as he moans tiredly.] Mmmmnnnrrrff...can't be work yet...don' wanna-- [And then he opens his eyes a bleary crack because something doesn't seem right. What was yesterday? Something happened yesterday. Nathan is slim enough that it takes another moment for it to really hit and then he pulls his arm away, his expression still dopey but horrified-dopey.] I din't....I weren't even... [And then he tries to get away, half functioning, and falls right out of the bed, landing with a thump on the side opposite the camera. There is a muffled "Ow."

Nathan cringes, clambering over to peer over the edge of the bed. Luckily for any potential viewers, Nathan's still tangled enough in the sheets he remains unexposed.] Weren't even a man? Are those the words you're looking for? Because you sure as hell didn't look like one from where I was standing.

[Chris' words are quiet enough, even with a bed in the way of him and the microphone.] I weren't. An' I didn't think I was one neither, okay?!

Oh, sure. [Judging by his tone, Nathan's very suspicious.] So, this isn't some kind of weird gay plot, trying to turn me into a queer?

I'm not a poof! You would've known if I weren't a bird last night anyway, wouldn't you. [Or not talking about that, actually because it DIDN'T HAPPEN.] If it's a plot, it's the deities, an' it hasn't bloody WORKED, alright?!

And what if it was an illusion? You wouldn't be the first man to try and mislead me in this area. Although I'll be the first to admit you did it better than most.

Hey, if you still had the body you did last night, I might even have suggested we go another round.

[....silence. For a bit. Chris is giving Nathan an even more horrified expression than the previous one, even if you can't see it with the bed in the way.] Jus'......jus'......can we not talk about that? Ever? [He gets up onto his knees, still sort of hunched over, to grab the duvet and drape it over and around himself before standing up and heading for the door, trying not to even look at Nathan. He stops offscreen to turn around and speak tersely.] Y'need t' get out, too. An' quietly, like.

[Nathan is not best pleased by Chris' lack of reaction.] What, so that's it? You're not even going to offer me breakfast? [Sliding off the bed, Nathan scrabbles around for his boxer shorts. He gets dressed mostly offscreen, though he isn't quiet about it, intentionally banging into the wall a few times. Lastly, he goes to pick up his device. Which is when he notices it recording. He grins, because clearly that's hilarious, then calls offscreen.]

Hey, cop feller! I think I may have been filming.

[Offscreen, there is a squeak from Chris.] Whaaaaatt?!?!?

[ooc; Green is Chris, Orange is Nathan. All responses will be set a little bit later, when Nathan's out of there and Chris has stopped freaking out.]